Tony Messenger of the Post-Dispatch wrote an interesting column this morning about Rep. Jeff Roorda's efforts to ban "Whizzinators" in Missouri. The devices are used by some people to mask improper stuff in urine, often to pass drug tests.
While Messenger noted that the device has been used in some serious situations, the column did remind me of an embarrassing moment for the Minnesota Vikings that didn't involve sex boats.
Several years ago, Onterrio Smith was selected as the Vikings' fourth round draft choice. For whatever reason, he decided to declare himself the "Steal of the Draft" by shaving the letters "S.O.D." into his head. And for whatever reason, that enough for this fantasy footballer to place the Oregon Duck on his perennially underachieving team.
But all that came to a screeching halt when Smith was caught in Minneapolis' airport with a mysterious device. That object turned out to be the "Original Whizzinator," the same type of device Roorda is trying to outlaw. Smith never played in the NFL again.
Apparently, the device was about to be sold at auction. But if Roorda had his way, you couldn't bring the prized possession that brought Smith's career to halt into the Show Me State.
Thus concludes a lame attempt of a Bears fan to make himself feel better about his terrible team.